


Coping

by Aceofstars16



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 01:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11003238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aceofstars16/pseuds/Aceofstars16
Summary: This is part of an AU where Kallus takes in Ezra when he was a kid and kind of raised him. It follows the same story line of canon, but Ezra joins the Rebellion the same time as Kallus. This fic takes part after joining the Rebellion, and after Kallus dies...a bit feelsy but...still fun...maybe?





	Coping

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr post](http://aceofstars16.tumblr.com/post/159777547518/coping)

The base was busy. Everyone was running around like normal. How could they act like everything was the same, that everything was okay? As if the mission hadn’t failed. As if Kallus wasn’t gone.

Kallus, the man who had found Ezra on the streets all those years ago. Who hadn’t stood by when everyone else did. He hadn’t been perfect. Ezra had found this out a while ago, and in his heart he had known it for longer. But he had been there for Ezra. Had raised him. He had helped him through the bad days and in turn Ezra had tried his best to make him smile and to help him in any way he could.

Even after joining the rebellion they looked out for each other. Sure, Ezra had a family now -one he had grown to love more than he thought he could love anything - but Kallus was part of that family. And now he was gone. He had sacrificed himself for the crew. He had died as he had started living all those years ago, for Ezra, for the rebellion.

Ezra fingered the small pin in his hand. A pin Kallus had worn daily. It had never left his jacket. Not until the day he gave it to Ezra. The day he died. A small part of Ezra wanted to throw it away and never look at it again. It was full of memories, painful memories now. But whenever he tried, his hand wouldn’t let it go. He couldn’t let it go. Because in a way he would be letting Kallus go. And he couldn’t do that. So he held onto it and the pain it held. And he tried to live on, but it was easier said than done…

 ----------

The base was quiet at night. It was as it should be. Ezra watched the stars in the sky, remembering nights when he had watched a different sky on Lothal. He would point to the sky and tell Kallus about constellations his parents had taught him.

“There is the gundark constellation,” Ezra whispered quietly, pointing to a cluster of stars, bringing them to no one’s attention. But sometimes it helped to pretend. To pretend Kallus was still there, that he was a kid again, when things had been better. Never perfect, but better at least…

“I always thought that one looked more like a fyrnock.”

A small drop of comfort touched Ezra’s chest. Kanan hadn’t always had a calming effect on him. It had taken him a while to trust the Jedi. But once he had, the bond between them had grown, stronger and faster than Ezra had ever expected. Probably because of the Force – something Ezra still didn’t quite understand – but right now he was thankful for it.

“I’ve never seen either, so I couldn’t say,” Ezra said, still studying at the sky, looking for any more familiar constellations. But he didn’t know these ones as well. It was harder than it had been on Lothal. Everything seemed harder than it had on Lothal.

“That may be a good thing, neither are particularly friendly,” Kanan said as he sat down quietly next to Ezra.

Ezra tried for a laugh, but it came out only as a puff of breath. He wanted to act like he was okay, but he also knew that was useless around Kanan. He always seemed to know when Ezra was faking being okay.

Silence stretched out between them. Some nights when Kanan found Ezra out here, he would talk, try to comfort him. But some times he didn’t talk at all, as if he knew that his presence was all Ezra needed. And it was Kanan’s support and the support of the rest of the crew that kept Ezra going. That and the knowledge that Kallus wouldn’t want him to give up, no matter what happened. And so, Ezra would try. He would try to move on, try to live. But no matter what he would always remember what Kallus had taught him and he would always strive to make him proud.


End file.
